In March 2007, I was ordained as a pastor, and my first call to a church took me 1000 miles away from my home state… where one of my children and my mother still lived. Kaicee, my Labrador Retriever, went with me. I had always lived in large, capital cities… now I lived in a rural setting, in a town of less than 500 people. It was at least a 4 hour drive to a major airport. Kaicee was about 10 years old by this time, but still had lots of energy and was great company.
There are two sides to ministry… you spend a lot of time with lots of people… and you spend a great deal of time alone, too. My congregation was loving and supportive, but I really missed my family and friends. Kaicee was the constant in my life. Taking care of her was a top priority. We would go for long walks. I found a feed store in the next town where I could buy healthy dog food. And the vet in the next town was married to one of the members of my congregation. It took me a while, but I found a great place to kennel Kaicee when I was traveling. It was a two hour drive from my house, and, thankfully, on the way to two of the major airports that I used most frequently. In a few months, I had settled into a new normal as a rural resident.
The scenery was gorgeous around the church and parsonage… golden wheat fields… corn… milo… soy beans… something was always being planted, growing or being harvested. I learned about cows, too; they know how to escape their enclosures… and they do it often! When Kaicee was with me, as I was driving to the next town, she was always on the look out for the cows. For some reason, although she rarely barked at them, she seemed to be fascinated by them. Perhaps she thought they were really big dogs!
We had a nice Summer and Fall that first year, but the cold and the snow of Winter soon followed. By the beginning of December, there was snow on the ground and the temperatures were hovering below freezing, even in the daytime. My backyard wasn’t fenced, so I tethered Kaicee when she wanted to go outside. The first Sunday afternoon in December was cold yet sunny so I let Kaicee stay out as long as she wanted. I checked on her periodically and one time noticed a black Labrador making friends with her. Occasionally dogs would get loose so I wasn’t too surprised to see the black dog. Kaicee loved other dogs so both tails were wagging. Finally, it was time to bring Kaicee inside. The black dog didn’t leave. He hovered around the back door. I put Kaicee in another room where they couldn’t see each other, thinking that the black dog would go home. But he didn’t. So, I found a collar and leash that I put on him – he was quite well behaved and friendly – and walked him about 1/4 mile to the local coffee shop. Many of the farmers would gather there on Sunday afternoons to catch up on the latest news. I stuck my head in the door and asked if anyone was missing a black Labrador Retriever? Nope! So, I said, “I’m the new pastor at North church. It’s too cold to leave him outside, so I’m taking him home with me. If anyone is looking for him, send them my way.” I went home and posted info about him on a couple of lost pet websites and also sent an email to the wife of the vet, so if he heard of someone was looking for their dog, they could come get him.
Christmas came and went, and so did the month of January. No one had claimed him. He was a super sweet dog… appeared to be about a year or so old… appeared to be pure-bred… and had obviously had a lot of obedience training. Someone had spent a lot of time training him… so it boggled my mind that no one was looking for him. He loved me and wherever I went in the house, he was right beside me. I usually let him outside without tethering him because I was hoping that his owners would see him and pick him up. Because I did this, I discovered he was a “bird” dog. He was constantly bringing me “gifts” of dead birds and dropping them outside the door. This made me think that he had been trained as a hunting dog.
Two months after he arrived in my back yard, I decided he was here to stay. I named him Shadow – because he stuck to me like a shadow, and because he was black. I took him to the vet for shots and had him neutered. And just like that… I was the owner of two 100 lb Labrador Retrievers!
As time went by, the mystery surrounding his arrival began to unravel. It turned out that he was terrified of loud noises. He would cower next to me. Of course I would comfort him. I mentioned this to the church secretary and she said, “I’ll bet he was trained to be a hunting dog but when the first gun went off… he took off running. The owner probably said “good riddance” because a gun shy dog is worthless to a hunter.” This shocked me but it also made sense, I guess. I learned during my time in rural America that animals are generally there to work and rarely kept merely as pets. As a city girl, dogs and cats were nearly always pets first and foremost. And my dogs were definitely spoiled pets!
A part of Shadow’s personality that I wasn’t expecting was his fierce protection of me. No one was coming in when he was there and he made sure people knew he was there by his loud barking. Kaicee was mellow and anyone who came in the door, in her mind, was a potential playmate. She met them at the door with a ball or a Frisbee. Play with me!!!
Shadow loved to retrieve too, but he wasn’t interested in making friends with strangers. I was his “person” and, if he could help it, no one was getting near me. Despite his attachment to me, he and Kaicee got along really well… except when it was time to eat. Kaicee had been the alpha dog since she was a puppy. She had put up with Charlie and now she was happy most of the time to have Shadow keep her company. But, she would not let him eat. If she could see him and his dog dish full of food, she would charge at him, barking… scaring him away from his bowl. She didn’t want his food. She just didn’t want him to have it either! So, I had to feed him in a room where she couldn’t see him… and I had to make sure that the kennel where they stayed did the same thing. They “roomed” in the same kennel and got along great… but Shadow had to be moved out of Kaicee’s sight at feeding time. I guess it was the one way she could show him who was boss!
For the next couple of years, Kaicee and Shadow kept me company and kept me entertained when I was home alone. But things changed quickly on February 10, 2010. I was filling the dog dishes. Kaicee would have nothing to do with her food. She just wasn’t acting right. She wouldn’t take any water, either. I tried to give her a piece of cheese… her most favorite food. She let it drop to the floor from her mouth. Alarmed, I called the vet and made an appointment. Kaicee was 13 years old. She came to us when she was 12 weeks old. Driving the 15 miles to the next town to the vet, in my heart I knew that this was the end. I cried all the way, fortunate that there wasn’t much traffic. This was a first for me. I was going to have to say good-bye to my best friend… the smartest dog I had ever owned… Kaicee, the Wonder Dog. And I was going to have to do it alone. Just writing this… 12 years later… brings tears to my eyes. I loved her so much. And I also loved her enough to not let her suffer. She was tired. She was done with this life. She was ready to rest. In her way, she was telling me to let her go. She died peacefully… with me holding and stoking her, telling her how much I loved her.
When I went home, Shadow was looking for his friend. I held him and we mourned together. When I called my mom to tell her about Kaicee, she said, “I think God sent Shadow to you so that you wouldn’t be alone.” I think my mom was right. I don’t know what I would have done if I hadn’t had Shadow.
Adventures with Shadow will continue in Part 6. Thanks for letting me share my journey with you!
Grace Notes 